I was really reassessing my definition of what love meant to me today.
I believe it means something completely different to each individual person who encounters it, feels it, practices it, believes it, and lives it. Its impossible to categorize or limit love to any definition, even though it's like a universal language everyone knows.
Love is a contradiction, its a language everyone speaks yet not everyone can understand. Some speak it so fast you can't catch a word, others speak it so slow it becomes boring, while the ones who speak it just right never stay long enough to hold a conversation. There's some people who speak it to you softly and steal your heart and run away with it. But then what do you do when that person doesn't return it to you? What do you do when you see that person and no longer know what to say or how to say it? Thats when I realized theres a personal language of love that can be shared between two people, that after time can be lost in translation, through personal or emotional growth. This theory can be applied to the love of personal interests also. So I guess to an extent you can outgrow a conversation, just as you can outgrow a friend and their influence, outgrow a city and its limitations, outgrow a job, outgrow a lifestyle, or relationship. You become a changed individual with a different perception of what kind of love captures you, what kind of love you understand and is as intellectual and as interesting as you've always wanted.
I'm not saying falling out of love is just a big misunderstanding between two people, well sometimes it seems that way, but in a way I know it goes deeper than words, and is more based on an individual's actions. We all want proof that love exists. We want to feel that love exists. And the only way for us to see love we expect action. Some expect it sooner than others while others let it take it's course, and some are just lucky to be living at the same pace. Love is so complicated. You have to be at the right place at the right time with the right person, at the right mental and emotional development to be able to experience the magic of it. So many times we have the most magical of love story's that capture you at the right place at the wrong time, that tragically end so suddenly and we fall back into a speach impediment that takes us a while to be able to speak love fluently again. Its all so complicated, but yet so beautiful. But the memory of love is the hardest part of getting over, if only there was a restart button to love, I'll keep praying for one. I still don't understand love, but I feel I have one up on love. But only the lord himself understands the real truth.
- Lolita
